“Good Evening–Do not attempt to adjust your radio, there is nothing wrong.

Welcome to station W-E-F-U-N-K. WEFUNK–swift lippin’, ego trippin’, and body snatchin’! Comin’ to you directly from the Mothership…”

After a brief respite your intrepid reporter returns with tales of Freestyle derringdo. It has been a few weeks since my last report so I must give a quick recap.

The July 27th A*T featured a third consecutive guest appearance by Gary Auerbach which I believe is a record for a an out o’ towner. Jan from Denmark was livin’ in NYC during his stretch so I’m giving Big Ups to GA for stick-to-it-tiveness.

Also on hand that evening were Joey, Fearless Lou, Pat, Roger, Fresh, Avi, the Ageless Trevor Brown, Kevin, Eddie Bennett, Jaime (TJH), Jestin Heaver, Joe Heaver (our resident Ultrastar entrepreneur) along with Jill, Claire and BenJAMin.

I believe I started my day of Jamming with Roger and Lou with the combination of Gary, Joey, and Fresh getting their respective shreds on concurrently. Gotta say that GA upped the ante big time having gotten his feet wet twice before. He had said during that first week that he hadn’t Jammed in a couple of months and while he was typically excellent right from the start, by Round 3 he was just tearing S*** up! There was much flow in that threesome with Onus being passed forward and the stakes raised on nearly every pass. I was having as much fun as a body oughtta have when it was time for liquid sustenance. It was at that time I saw my Heaving brethren up slinging two discs at maximum velocity so I was enticed into that circle. The rule was to never have two discs in your hand at the same time which was not easy to do when plastic is zooming to and fro among these folks. It took me a little time to catch that rhythm but suffice to say there was much fabulous flight involved.

The last Jam (also Jam of the Day) was the Mob Op featuring GA, Fresh, Pat, Joey, and Roger. Too much Heinous action for description but you know that it was serious ‘cuz I saw two Doug mugs plus some prancin’ coming from Mr. Fresh.

As dusk descended that one wrapped up and the question of the next Yella designee arose. With Ted n’ Chrissy absent, the Board decided that the Lovely One should wear the Jaundiced Jersey the following week. It was at this moment that the exact whereabouts of the Canary Coverlet came into question. No one was wearin it so where is it? Joey said “Wasn’t Carina (Daddy’s Best Girl) wearin’ it last week?”

I said “Nay, Carina presented it to…Doug E. Fresh! Doug, where’s it at?”

Would that you all could have seen the look of abject despair upon the visage of our boy as he said “Oh, VERY BIG PROBLEM.” You see, there is only one non-negotiable rule regarding the Yella Jersey: You must bring the following week or you is Yella AGAIN. And thus the Yella designees for last week was esatblished.

Now the A*T of August 3rd was notable for those who were absent as well as who was there. The thing is (sigh) yours truly was not able to make it. I had to drive my daughter upstate to Schroon Lake (just North of Lake George) for a week of fun and frolic. It is my understanding that we had Guest Jammers from CT and the Shred was in full effect (any attendees wish to chime in?). I can say Carina is having a blast and I enjoyed getting out of NYC’s triple digit heat to breathe some fresh air and swim in the lake for a few days.

Yesterday (August 10th), a thunderstorm blew through in the early afternoon but by 5pm it was a beautiful day. I arrived to a pristine but empty field? Could it be that our crew would be deterred by a little precipitation??? I checked the bandshell just in case but no one was there so I strolled over to the manhole, nailed up, and communed with the turf. First to join me were Mighty Heavers Dan W. and Aldo, the latter being the father of a toddler who is often on Daddy Duty himself so this was a special occasion. The three of us got up to fling that thing and were really able to take advantage of the wide open space.

I have previously mentioned Dan’s prowess but Aldisimo is no slouch. Both of them like to throw a Hammer which is really more of a Scythe–it remains vertical as it slices towards your waiting fingers and woe to those not prepared to read the flight properly. We really got a tremendous rhythm going with an amazing array of throws, runs, and catches including Dan’s blind 50 yard strike to me off a running catch, Aldo whipped a bunch of nasty forehands and high powered backhands, and I managed a couple of Big Hooks (forehands that arc out wide and setlle in to a long flat filght in for the strike). Man, I love this stuff!!!

Joey arrived as we were getting started followed by Fearless Lou, Fresh, Quinn-O, TO and Chrissy. When the Heavers broke to hydrate and those gents headed back to their paternal responsibilities, I came in to do the round of greetings. Now I knew that Ted and the Lovely One were MIA for last week’s gathering of the tribe so I was hopeful that the traditional Double Yella would trump my single transgression. Alas, Fresh said “It was a tough decision but I believe I am doing the right thing” as he presented me with the Cowardly Coverlet. In a free society journalists must be held to a higher standard so I donned the YJ without a whimper (unlike some who will remain nameless!) 😉 and set about making certain I would do my penance with gusto. Ted, Quinn and Fresh got up first with Joey and my boy Fearless starting up while I shared some Mexican Ambrosia with Chrissy. It was around this time that we heard the sound of thunder off in the distance and noticed the sky darkening to the North. Oh, not to worry that’s over da’ Bronx we’ll be fine.

Both Jams continued unabated and when I heard some more thunder, I looked up, saw lightning and the cloud cover becoming thicker and progressively more ominous. I packed my gear, stowed it under Lou’s poncho, and kept playing. Now the lightning strikes were to the North, East and West and their frequency increased as the closed in on our patch of green. Of course “we don’t need so stinkin’ conditions” so we all figured to tough it out, what’s a little rain anyway? We all looked over Central Park West to see a gray curtain being drawn over the buildings in rapid succession then, BOOOOOSH! The rain came down with such ferocity I took off my glasses to keep playing. This worked for about 3 minutes because there were lightning strikes all around us and suddenly this was just not a good place to be. Discretion being the better part of valor, we all gathered our stuff and scattered.

Jam of the Day honors go to all that showed!!! We didn’t have time to choose a Yella Designee for next week. I will take nominations under advisement and let you know who shall be the chosen one soon. It’s nice to be back.

All the Best to All Y’all

Paul